I confessed a troublesome truth to my class yesterday. I’m choosing to reveal it to you, too. Maybe you can help me with it. I’ve been trying to analyze it to see if I can figure out why it’s true. So far, no solutions.
When I’m here (Eastern/Central Europe) I have this deep yearning to know whether or not every person I see is a Christian. It’s like I want to stop every person on the street and ask them about their faith. I know they can’t understand me…or me them…but for some reason, I just feel I have to know. Is it because they’ve endured so much? Is it because the west has intruded so blatantly? Can it be simply that they can’t answer me?
Okay, so that’s half the issue. The problem is, I don’t feel that way at home. Oh, I want to know to…but I don’t have that constant state of near anxiety. I’m driven to find out. It’s a question that sometimes haunts me but often is simply silent. And I wonder why. Is it because I could understand them? Is it because I could talk to them? Is it because faith is so common? Do I just take it for granted by life is pretty normal when I’m home and total in upheaval when I’m here.
I want to want to be driven to know. I want to feel compelled to ask everyone, somehow, if they know Jesus. Maybe that’s why God allows me to be here…to remind me of that deep longing.