David
Trouble at Home

January 13, 2008

David said that the man who took the small ewe lamb deserved to die and he had to pay four times to the man for the value of the lamb. Little did David know that the judgment David pronounced on the evil man was the judgment God pronounced on David. It didn’t take long for the judgment to start it course. But we have to remember that all the problems David faced in the last 20years of his life didn’t just start with the Bathsheba affair. The stage was already set by earlier mistakes made by David. What he experienced in the last 20 years of his life were totally due to his inability to manage his household.

 A family in trouble is a common occurrence, but it is never pretty. There are two kinds of trouble a family can experience: trouble that comes from without and trouble that comes from within. A fire can burn a house to the ground or a tornado can blow a house away and those types of tragedies put families under great stress but in most cases they pull a family together rather than separate them. But that is not the case when trouble comes from within the family.

All of us have experienced trouble within the family at one time or another in our lives. It comes in many different forms. What are some of the forms of trouble that can attack a family from within? Before we look at the life of David again we need to look at a very true principle that is found in Galatians 6:7-8. It is a principle Christians all know but many don’t really pay all that much attention to until it comes back to bite them.

Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

The Lord gives us a warning ahead of time because the devil or the flesh or the world will work havoc on our thinking, deceiving us into doubting God’s truth. We reap what we sow. Put forgiveness aside a minute, the actions we take as Christians has an affect. No action you take just goes out into never never land and just fades away. Every action we take has some sort of affect especially the actions that are done within the family.

But here is where the deception comes in, as Christians; we are forgiven because of the grace and love Jesus has for us. All we have to do is confess our sins before God. We are forgiven not because of the confession, we are already forgiven but the confession keeps the communications lines open between us and God so we together can grow our relationship deeper. And we think at this point everything is wonderful and all the consequences are gone. But this is not what Galatians teaches.

Galatians 6:8 has the sting in it that God wants us to be very aware of… the one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction.

Why sin? Why do we give in to it and do it? If there is a positive about sin, what is it? It is fun. That is one of the things that draws us into it. It is exciting, adventurous, stimulates us, it satisfies the body and it stimulates the desires of the flesh. But there is a problem. There is a problem with sin; what is it? Usually the pleasure is very short-lived.

Here is the problem with the church today and why I decided not to hold back and teach a little softer this morning; the church teaches too much on correcting problems and doesn’t teach enough on preventing them. The scripture is the best source to go to when life correction is needed, but it is an easier life to live if we know ahead of time what not to do and spare ourselves from the pain that comes with sin.

True or false statement: We as Christians have been trained to sin.

Here is a great scripture to hold onto. We already studied this when we looked at 1John.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Tell me the good news found in this verse written by John.  Why is this good news but not necessarily the best news?

Romans 6:1-4, 11-13 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

Both verses are awesome and it is an awesome thing to be a child of God saved under the principles of both passages. But which passage should have priority? Which passage spares the Christian from the consequences of sin?

We have set ourselves up with the mindset that sin is okay to do because we are forgiven and have a way to escape death that we deserve. That is true but God allows and uses consequences to change our attitude about sin. You are forgiven but you also will face the consequences if you do sin. God warns us not to be deceived, God will not be mocked. If you mock God and sin, you will pay the price for it.

David pays a very heavy price for what he did with Bathsheba. In front of everyone God through Nathan spoke to David and said:

2 Samuel 12:1-12 This is what the LORD says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”

There were 8 major consequences that came upon David because of his affair with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah. I only have time for some of them today.

First Consequence: Marital Infidelity

Where did David first fall into sin with Bathsheba? On the roof of his palace. Years later Absalom chased his father David off the throne and forced David and his family to flee for their lives. David left behind concubines to tend to the palace but he knew they would be safe under Absalom’s care and that Absalom would not harm them. Notice what happened.

2 Samuel 16:21-22 Ahithophel answered, “Lie with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father’s nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened.” So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he lay with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

Second Consequence: The Loss of a Child

2 Samuel 12:15, 18 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. On the seventh day the child died.

Not only did the child get sick, God allowed David and Bathsheba to suffer watching the child linger for 7 days until the child died. Notice with this consequence not did David suffer but also his wife and the child. More than one was affected by this consequence.

Last week we talked about the significance for David and the death of his child but there is another warning to us about the sin and David and the death of his child? What is it? Too often our mistakes become a scourge on the innocent, many times upon our kids.

Third Consequence: One of David’s Sons Rapes His Half Sister

It is not talked a lot in scripture about the inner workings of David’s family with so many wives and so many children. In Solomon’s case he had so many wives, kids and concubines that he built a city to house all of them right across the Kidren Valley. Today, the city still exists and the houses there are built on the foundations of the houses Solomon first had built. Most likely each family had their own house or quarters to live in. The family complex was probably very large and there was interaction between all the family members. Scripture only tells us about Absalom, Tamar and Amnon.

2 Samuel 13:1-2 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.

What are we talking about here? What illness does Amnon have? Incest lust. How common is this type of sickness today in our society and why is it happening?

With the help of a friend, Amnon fakes being ill and asks for Tamar to come and take care of him. The loving sister that Tamar is, she agrees to help her half-brother.

2 Samuel 13:12-14 Don’t, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

Scripture tells us that Amnon hated Tamar after the rape and threw her out of his room. She begged not to be abandoned like that but Amnon threw her out anyway. Dads, if this happened to your daughter, what would you have done?

2 Samuel 13:21-22 When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.

Consequence Four: Brother Hates a Brother

Absalom was a beautiful man and he also was a very smart man. Scripture sets up for us in verse 22 the next consequence.

How long can hatred last? What are the dangers of a hided, long lasting hatred? If you were Absalom after hearing about your sister, what would be going through your mind?

2 Samuel 13:23-27 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there. Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his officials please join me?” “No, my son,” the king replied. “All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you.” Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go, but gave him his blessing.Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us.” The king asked him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king’s sons.

Describe for me the kind of father David turned out to be? Was he very attentive to what was going on within his household? Do you think he was aware that Absalom and Amnon were not getting along? Why wasn’t he aware; one raped the sister of the other? Where there any red flags that something wasn’t right?

2 Samuel 13: 28-29 Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Have not I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled.

David heard a report that all his sons were killed and of course, you can imagine the reaction by David at that news. But he quickly learned that only Amnon was killed.

2 Samuel 13:32-34 But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s expressed intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. My lord the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king’s sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead.” Meanwhile, Absalom had fled.

How did Jonadab know all this? Was he part of the plan or was he just a good observer of things going on in the family? How upset are you going to be if you first learned all your sons had died only to find out that only one of your sons died? Was this the plan?

Absalom knows he can’t go home so he fleas to his grandparents house. He doesn’t go to David’s parents, he fleas to his mom’s parents. Grandpa is king of Geshur. So David gets his army together to go and get his son and make him face judgment for killing his son. Nope, that is not what David does. Instead David does the following.

2 Samuel 13:37-39 Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned for his son every day. After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And the spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.

All the mistakes David made with Absalom, including this one on how he dealt with Absalom will lead to Absalom’s revolt and eventually to Absalom’s death by Joab.

Sin does not pay and for what little pleasure we get from doing it does not measure up to the pain that follows due to the consequences. We need to concentrate on prevention of sin rather depend on the grace and mercy of God once sin takes place. Forgiveness through grace is awesome but it does not remove the sting of sin, the consequences.